a face in the cloud no trace in the crowd

http://www.mangaupdates.com/series.html?id=61338 - donten ni warau
http://www.mangaupdates.com/series.html?id=5753 - banana fish
death note
http://www.mangaupdates.com/series.html?id=423 - cat street
http://www.mangaupdates.com/series.html?id=164 - shin angyo onshi
immortal rain
knife - kaori ozaki
http://www.mangaupdates.com/series.html?id=319 - 20th seiki shounen
slam dunk
eden no hana
http://www.mangaupdates.com/series.html?id=264 - basara

http://www.anime-planet.com/anime/majin-tantei-nougami-neuro
http://www.anime-planet.com/anime/monster ***
http://www.anime-planet.com/anime/paranoia-agent - paranoia agent ****
http://www.anime-planet.com/anime/gankutsuou-the-count-of-monte-cristo ***
http://www.anime-planet.com/anime/pumpkin-scissors

sparklehorse - indie/punk/folk/noise
portland cello orchestra
the white birch
agalloch
the american dollar
idaho
low
nicolas jaar
goldmund
tim hecker

When you look at my room, who do you see? Objects which sit on the windowsill, the table, the dresser. The bedspread's  texture and colour. Who do you see in the mirror? Who are you today?

Today is April 18^th. I have been locked in this room for eleven days. I cannot step outside. My only connection with the world beyond is through the window which opens by a few inches. In those eleven days, I have sat and stared at nothing. Pigeons landed on the opposite roof and took off into the empty sky.

There is no identity to assign. There is no tale to be told because a person in this particular trade is willing to forego the tale. There is no enjoyment to be had except in the grim reality of the cover. That is what the old, retired hands say.

But here I am in this room, exposed and cornered, waiting for my end. I think there is a limit to how much a person can take. Perhaps it was a desperate attempt to save my drowning subconscious which drove me to let my tail show.

I have used the pass eleven days to organize my thoughts. It was not something I relished but the final narrative is now firmly in my mind now. And I will commit it to paper in a way which only you will understand.

Words: 235

Alva Noto + Ryuichi Sakamoto-Summvs (glitch/piano)
Birds in Row (French skramz)
World's End Girlfriend
No-Man - Flowermouth (Steveb Wilson art-pop project)
Strawbs - From the Witchwood (prog folk)
RHP - Songs for a blue guitar
Aiko Shimada
Purplene
Squirrel Bait
David Sylvian
Kashiwa Daisuke - Program Music I
Obsidian Mantle


and West Wing
finish season 5 The Wire
finish last season Merlin
anime

Himizu
Vegetarian
Kotoko
University City Savage

and the books? i don't even want to start listing the books. i can't wait for 3rd year to be over and hand in my life's bane, the dissertation, which occupies 95% of my mind, the other 5% is used for functioning like a "normal" human being and also trying to resist (and failing) behaviours. Which means that behaviours occupy 70%+ of time I could be spending on my dissertation or my other readings.

why does all my stress hve to magnify like a supernova flaring up like my eczema and a million other bright red spots on my face?

well sirs, this is my life at the moment. i can't wait to finish Steven Erikson's Malazan series...five more books to go, Robin Hobb's Rain Wild chronicles, M R James and take my teacher's advice and read some foucault before graduating, thereby not wasting 3 years at uni, Erich Fromm if my dad insists etc etc. Tolkien biog, Koestler and Conrad, Guy Gavriel Kay i have been dying to try out your stuff.

but i can't read any of this. i live on sputnikmusic now and prefer to detach myself from library surroundings.

i dno. this is the longest entry i have written in a while. i shall go and figure. and maybe get some sleep as well.

Trigun
Gun X Sword
Big O (mecha/mystery)
Wings of Honneamise (movie)

Summer season anime catch-up
Durarara! - Baccano! characters make a cameo
Denno Coil
Planetes

Eden: It's an Endless World
Homunculus
Boku to Issho

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Delicatessen is a 1991 French black comedy film
The City of Lost Children (French: La Cité des enfants perdus)
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
Slaughterhouse-Five - 1972
Memories 1995 Satoshi Kon
Apocalypse Now 1979 Vietnam war film
Melancholia
Villain/Akunin 2010
Taste of Tea
Oldboy
Eureka

Prometheus? if possible
New Wes Anderson film!
Django Unchained


Manga
Kiriko Nananan

moteki
unfair
lucky seven - hm
slow dance
tsumi to batsu
Ohisama
rewatch Last Friends?
Papadol!
Zenkai Girl
Niini no Koto wo Wasurenaide * ?
Yamada Taro Monogatari


movies
letters from iwo jima
usagi drop
rainbow song/niji no megami
Parade


uergh this list is so long...it's embarrassing 

La Planète Sauvage
The Secret of Kells
Mary and Max 2009
Millennium Actress (sennen joyu) 2001
Auf der Anderen Seite (The Edge of Heaven) (On the Other Side) (2007)
Chicken with Plums (2012)
The Kids Are All Right (2010)
No One Knows About Persian Cats (Les Chats Persans) (2009)
What's Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)
Win Win (2011)
Blame It on Fidel (La Faute a Fidel) (2006)
Sita Sings the Blues (2008)